Posts tagged trauma response
Why your life is hard and how you can fix it

Life will throw plenty of unpredictability at you. So why do so many of us go seeking out chaos in the areas of our lives where we actually have control? The short answer: seeking out chaos is a trauma response.

For those of us who grew up in chaotic environments— whether that chaos is from abusive caretakers, anxious caretakers, or even just caretakers who bickered in front of you— we’ll often feel the most comfortable in chaos. And that means that when given the option, we may tend to choose living spaces, friends, jobs, partners, hobbies, etc. that are chaotic in some way or another.

Choosing chaos in general isn’t necessarily a bad thing! We wouldn’t have anyone working in emergency rooms, or picking up the phone for folks who dial 911, or even acting, for that matter, if there weren’t some people who thrived in chaos. It’s a superpower. But it can also be a drain on your energy if you’re not careful.

That’s why I suggest, especially if you are someone who grew up in chaos and are drawn to chaos, to take inventory of your life from time to time by asking yourself the following question:

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It’s not just you: Why you feel weird lately

If you’ve started feeling odd as we come up upon the one-year-anniversary since a lot of us started quarantining, it’s not just you. You might just be experiencing just one or a few of these things, but some things you may notice are:

  • Sleep problems

  • Strange or unpleasant dreams

  • Irritability

  • A feeling of restlessness

  • Feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, and/or anxiety without a clear cause

  • Flare ups of chronic health issues


Does any of that sound like what your last few days or weeks have been like? If so, then you might be having a trauma anniversary.


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