Posts tagged communicating
Why you need self-compassion in your life and how to do it (even when you don’t want to)

At Skip the Small Talks, we ask attendees to have compassion for others and for themselves as they try out new ways to hold conversations. It’s probably obvious why we care about people having compassion for each other at an event where strangers are getting to know each other for the first time, but equally if not more important in that context is self-compassion. That’s because any attempt at change or improvement generally goes much more smoothly if you’re not beating yourself up after every setback. Connecting genuinely often requires taking some risks (like sharing things that feel a little vulnerable), and having compassion for yourself when those risks don’t pan out the way you hope can help you continue taking some risks in the long-term, and can help make the learning process easier for you in the short-term. 

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Three relationship tips you won’t find in Cosmo

Whether you’re looking for a good fit with a friend, a romantic partner, or even a new workplace, you’ve probably heard tips like “communication is key” and “stick with someone/somewhere that encourages you to grow” and “go with your gut.” Sometimes even those clichés can be useful, but there are some other “tells” about how any given relationship is going that can be easy to miss if you’re not looking for them, especially since they aren’t as culturally emphasized as platitudes like “follow your heart.” Of course, these aren’t going to be the *only* things you should pay attention to, but they can all be easy to overlook, particularly if you are focusing some portion of your energy on appearing desirable to the other person/ workplace/ whatever.
 

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Ashley Kirsnerrelationship health, romantic relationship, relationships, relationship, relationship advice, romantic relationships, boyfriend, girlfriend, how to keep your girlfriend, how to keep your boyfriend, strong relationships, healthy relationships, how to have a healthy relationships, how to have healthier relationships, how to have healthy relationships, healthy relationship, how to have a healthy relationship, how to make your relationships healthy, how to make your relationship healthy, should I break up with him?, should I break up with her?, should I break up?, should I break up with my girlfriend?, should I break up with my boyfriend?, metaconversation, metaconversations, meta-conversation, meta-conversations, boundary, boundaries, relationship tip, relationship tips, three relationship tips you won't find in Cosmo, Cosmo, Cosmo Magazine, cosmo magazine, cosmopolitan magazine, tips you won't find in cosmo, tips you won't find in cosmo magazine, respecting boundaries, respect boundaries, set boundaries, set boundary, vulnerability, keeping track, better relationships, deep relationships, deeper relationships, emotional labor, stable relationship, stable relationships, should I marry him?, should I marry her?, should we get married?, is he the one?, is she the one?, how do I know?, how will I know?, how do I know if he's the one?, how do I know if she's the one?, talk to him, talk to her, communication, communicating, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk advice, advice, love advice, loveComment
The secret to long-lasting relationships

What do the following have in common?
 

  • A “define the relationship” conversation with a crush
  • Mentioning to your roommate that you never check your Facebook messages
  • Telling your friend that the way he acts when he’s angry is scary to you
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Ashley KirsnerSkip the Small Talk, healthy relationships, relationships, relationship health, romantic relationships, platonic relationships, friends, friendships, how to make friends, how to have better relationships, better relationships, relationship, relationship advice, healthy relationship, deeper relationships, managing relationships, how to go deeper, going deeper, how to have a deep conversation, how to have a hard conversation, hard conversation, hard conversations, conversations, conversation, communication, communication problems, how to communicate, how to communicate better, communicating, communicate, communication skills, how to improve communication, having communication problems, metaconversation, metaconversations, meta-conversation, meta-conversations, skip the small talk, how to skip the small talk, learn how to skip the small talk, real talk, deep conversation, deep conversations, how to have deep conversations, how to talk about something hard, how to bring up something hard, how to bring up something hard to your boyfriend, how to bring up something hard to your girlfriend, romantic relationship, girlfriend, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, romantic partner, romantic partners, significant other, how to keep your girlfriend, how to keep your boyfriend, how to keep your significant other, long-lasting relationships, the secret to long-lasting relationships, how to have long-lasting relationships, how to make your relationship last, how to make your relationships last, how to make your relationships last foreverComment
If you have trouble skipping the small talk, this might explain why

I recently found myself in two almost identical social situations with one small difference that changed everything about the way the interaction went down.

 

A few months ago, I had some new friends over my house when one of my friends took advantage of a brief silence:

 

“Can I ask you all a weird question?”

 

We all nodded and leaned forward a tiny bit in our chairs.

 

“Is a hamburger a sandwich?”

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